Thoughts

I just read a very thoughtful, insightful post on an old friend's blog - one that really bares her soul... and I wonder why I can't bring myself to write like that. To just write and not worry about if I sound stupid, or if I'm going to inadvertently hurt someones feelings or offend or tell too much.

I actually have a couple of drafts of "real" thoughts posts that I do want to finish writing and set free to the world wide web. But I haven't. Because I'm worried that someone might take my words the wrong way, and the last thing I'd ever want is to hurt feelings. And even though I'd like to consider myself to be an open book, having no problem talking about myself - even regarding my struggles and vulnerability, I realize I am not. And then there's my ultra-private husband...

But even so, I think I'm ready to be more open. I'm reading a book about Ruth and Naomi, and in the forward it talks about how women essentially live in two worlds - one public and one private. Things that we often know to be true in our private worlds are not always so accepted and acceptable in public society. But I know that my private world is not so different from the private worlds of many other women. And one of the things I'm tired of is having my private world so private. I need to learn to communicate my joys and even my heartaches without fear.

More on this later, but I feel God is calling me in a direction that would require embracing and expressing my vulnerabilities... so I guess I better practice. And what better place than the blogosphere. To quote a sweet friend-of-a-friend that I hope to meet soon, I may sometimes be "splattered. So bring a raincoat. You've been duly warned."