And the Lord will grant the desires of your heart...

Several things over the last year or so have made it very clear to me that God is in control of my life, not me. And while I still don't understand the "why" on a lot of things, I'm learning to accept and trust in His understanding. I'm reading through Proverbs (Lord knows I could use a little wisdom) in my study Bible, and this little side note stuck out to me. I will do well to remember:

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12

"Unfulfilled longings are familiar to every woman. Sometimes when a woman must wait for her deepest hopes to be realized she can become heartsick, despondent, even desperate. Consider Rachel, whose longing to have children not only caused her to feel like she would die from the pain of waiting, but also led her to take matters into her own hands in order to get what she wanted (Gen 30: 1-5). In a woman's quest for relief from disappointment, she can be tempted to manipulate and demand that her desires be satisfied according to her timetable. Or she can suppress her dreams and desires and settle for much less than God has planned. Either way, she loses. How much better off a woman will be when she trusts God to fulfill her dreams, when she waits on him instead of manipulating or giving up. Only He sees the whole picture, and only He has the power to fulfill her heart's desires (Gen 30:22-23)."

I have lately been praying not so much that God would grant my desires, but that He would shape my desires to match His own plans for me. While I will admit I am not quite whole-hearted in my prayer (it's just so hard to let got of control!), I feel He truly IS changing my mind-set. And that is a great place to start.

Big Boy Room

My baby is a baby no longer. My great big 3-year-old is sleeping in a great big 3-year-old room now - all by himself the whole night, I might add (hence he is no longer in mine). We got him a twin-size mattress but left it and the box springs on the floor. Once we're pretty sure he's not going to go rolling off it all the time (he is quite the flailer when he sleeps), we'll put it in an actual bed frame. He loves it - when he first saw it, he thought it was the coolest thing for jumping on. And jumping off. The bedspread is the one we used to have on Samm's bed before she lived here, so I didn't have to buy a new one! Yay for recycling!



I copied these little star hooks from ones my mom made for my new baby nephew's room. Even though I intended them for cowboy hats and jackets, Tater is having fun putting his silly dress-up hats on them. The little cowboy shelf is one of the few decor carryovers from the baby room... I just think it's too cute!

I put in new curtains, but just the top panel. We don't have blinds on these windows and they all get direct sun in the morning, so we've always doubled up on the tab-tops to block out the light and heat a little more. Before he had 2 red panels so I replaced the top only with blue (there was too much red in his room). I kinda like the layered effect. I didn't iron the curtains, which bothers me a little, but I figure a few more weeks of this heat should knock the wrinkles right out, right?

This is the dresser that a friend gave me (actually, all the dressers in this house were free gifts from friends!) that I repainted with my sister's help (post-bedrest) before T was born. The lamp is a repainted $1 garage sale find. The barn-wood mirror - $3 at another garage sale a few weeks ago. The little quilt was $5 at a craft show in Ballinger before T was born. I call this my wall of bargains. :) The only thing I have left to do in here is find a suitable living space for all his stuffed animals. I stole their box to store the stuff that used to be under his bed. Until then they'll just stay stashed by the toy buckets.

And this is my favorite wall. That is indeed a real rope hung on the wall with hooks and tack nails. It's authentic too - the roper who used to live here left it out in the roping arena out back, so it's nicely "weathered." Here's a close-up. I'm a little too proud of this idea - I just think it turned out so cool!!!

And I do have to say that it is kinda sad that the only room in this house that I consider to be finished, decor-wise, is the bedroom of the three-year-old male... who really couldn't care less. He does really like the rope actually - he told me it is "awesome." :)

That's all that matters.

Bullet Train

A little randomness - need to warm up the old blogging muscles.

• Today July is halfway over. Meaning my time off is halfway over too - I have a week of workshops the week before actual in-service starts, so as of Aug 3, I'm back at work.
• That really bites.
• Tater's big boy room is done. Pics will be the next blog.
• I've incredibly bummed right now - my brilliant photographer friend Jenny is going back to teaching and will now be limiting the times she does photos. And she is incredible, so she books up fast. So because I took it for granted that she would always be there, I have put off booking our family pics and it will now be November before we can get them done. I'm ridiculously mad at myself.
• I have a lot of projects I wanted to get done this summer but have only checked 3 things off the list. I think I'm gonna just have to be good with 3 or so more, because the motivation just ain't there.
• It is still up in the air when/whether Samm will be back. Thoughts and feelings regarding that are varied and will be kept.
• I am evidently not too terribly committed to my weight-loss goals because I have lost a whole pound. The goal is 10 before the first day of school.
• I just ate half a bag of mini-rice cakes - the caramel corn ones. And I wonder why I'm not losing weight...
• I think it is unfair for an almost-30-year-old to still be having to deal with acne. Hence I have been tanning. I know it's bad but I hate not being able to wear cute tops in the summer.
• Plus tan fat looks better than white fat.
• I am not excited about school yet. I wish I were. There are evidently a ton of changes to our state standards. I don't really care enough to try to figure them out yet.
• Wow, now I remember why I don't blog - so stinkin' negative!! Maybe I'll try again tomorrow when I'm in a better mood.