AWOL

I know, I know. I have not posted in forever. There have been 200 things that have been postworthy in the last few weeks, but I have not done it. Why? Because I am tired. My body is tired, my brain is tired and my heart is tired. I honestly don't know how I'm still sitting up right now. But I promise, I will have energy and post again someday - maybe even before TAKS is over. T-minus 14 days and counting. Sad how one little test can completely suck the life out of you.

Tater's 2nd Birthday

My baby boy is two years old. Although if you ask him if he's two, he replies, "No! I Tater!"

On his "real" birthday, Sam and I took him to school and had cupcakes with his little class. It was so cute - they all ate the tops off (because that's where the icing is) and left the rest. I hope all the other moms can forgive me for the sugar rush their kids surely went home with that day!

Then on Sunday evening, we had his party here at the house. Since Finding Nemo is his favorite movie (we had to watch it EVERY DAY last summer), we had a Nemo party, or "parley" as Tater said over and over. He was so excited to have everyone over. It was not a huge deal, but it was so much fun. I was over the moon seeing my house full of family. Both my sweet sisters managed to make it to town to help celebrate; we were missing some family due to illness and distance, but it was still a blast.

Nana made an incredible Nemo birthday cake that Tater was so excited about. He was definitely into blowing out those candles - he knew exactly what to do. He was a little nervous to get too close to the flame, but he got it after only 3 tries. The rest of the "meal" had a sea theme too. The kids ate shells and cheese and octopus dogs. The grown-ups had submarine sandwiches, shrimp salad and chicken salad made by Grandma (thank you!!). And we all had ocean fruit salad (compliments of blue food coloring) and birthday cake for dessert. Tater made such a fun mess with it. My goodness, there were crumbs everywhere. Then Tater and Jordan played and played and played. They chased each other around the house until we had to impose "walking feet" rules. They played with the new Mr. Potato head and played doctor with the animal hospital set. Tater was listening to Jordan's "boom boom."

I just still can't believe he is already two. But at the same time, I honestly have to look at pictures to really remember what he was like when he was tiny. Watching him grow has been the best experience of my life. I can't wait to see what will come next. I often get overwhelmed with God's grace. I could never deserve the joy this little boy brings me, and I am beyond grateful. Thank you Father, for entrusting me with this precious child.

Peace that passes ALL understanding

Our God is an amazing God. I promised you insight to my newest discovery, and here it is.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

I finally get it. God's plan is not for me to be a stay-at-home mom. I may want it, but for whatever reasons, His reasons, it's not in His will. That's not the big part of it though... the big deal is, I'm OK with that. I mean, I'm completely and totally ok and AT PEACE with working while raising my toddler. In fact, I was going to post this early last week, but I needed to wait through this week of Spring Break heaven with my child to be sure it was a God thing and I was still ok. And I am. And it is. A God thing, I mean. There is no possible way I could let go of this dream without His peace. I still don't fully understand how, but I think I'm finally truly learning to "Let go and let God."

Let me give you the background... Our bible study at church is discussing what we were "made" for, and one verse kept tugging at me.

"My thoughts and my ways are higher than yours"

Isaiah 55:9

And it finally hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm such a selfish creature; I'd been so wrapped up in what I wanted that I wasn't at all worried about what God wanted for me. And what he wanted me to DO. We're not put on this earth for ourselves, or even just for our own families. We're herer to do whatever it is He wants us to do. And until I quit whining about what I wanted Him to do for me, I would never see what He wants me to do for Him. He's got the big picture in mind, while I couldn't see past my four walls. I know how big a responsibility I have for Tater. And I take that very seriously; I am working hard to train him up in the way he should go. But he's not my only responsibility. God has something else for me to do.

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek with me with all of your heart."

Jeremiah 29: 12-13

I'm not sure what exactly God has planned for me yet. But I do know that I want to find out. And I'm more receptive to hear His answer now. And I truly want to do His will, instead of hiding behind... well, whatever's handy. I know I don't want to hide behind my child; I had to let go of this to open up my heart to fully seek Him. Above all else, I am truly grateful. Grateful for His sacrifice, His love and especially His peace. I am humbled to be called a Child of God.

This day

Thank you Father for this day. My heart smiles after a day like today.

Today was our big play-date with our small group from church. We six women had five kids ages 3 and under running around this house, and I loved every second of it. Amazingly enough, they all played together pretty well - no fights, minimal tantrums. They all sat down to eat together at the little table, and it was too cute. Only lasted about 5 minutes, but still...

My favorite part, though, was having my friends in my house. It was so great to just sit and relax with the girls, with nothing terribly important to discuss - just chatting, looking at sonogram pics (3 of the 6 of us are preggers!), eating guacamole and coralling the kids. I think we all had fun - I know I did!

Then Tater and I took a nap together, did a little Easter craft and played outside with Daddy. It was a simple, simply perfect day. Nothing huge, but beautiful. These days are when I am the happiest. I live for them. But yet... no - I'll save that for another post. Watch for my epiphany, coming soon.

Happy Birthday Fri!

To Sara. In honor of your LAST twenty-something birthday, a little birthday story for you, my best friend.

When Brown-eyes moved to San Angelo, she was not sure what to expect. New town, new house, new school... who would she talk to? Would she make any friends? It didn't take long to find out that answer. A pretty girl with green eyes and a big smile invited her to her birthday slumber party just two weeks away. Turned out Green-eyes lived one street over, right down the alley from Brown-eyes. The party was a blast. They fed the dog ice cream til he puked and giggled at a friend who tooted in her sleep. A lifelong friendship was born.

Over the next few years, Green-eyes and Brown-eyes were inseparable. They lived at each others' houses, each had 2 moms, played closet-Barbies in the garage with the door closed, made clothes for those barbies using hot loops, wore each others clothes. Teachers got them confused, some called them both by both their names run together. They got each other Best Friend necklaces that both wore for years. When the heart charm was broken apart, one side said "Be Fri" and the other said "st end." From that moment forth, the girls were Be Fri's. They created their own language, made up ridiculously dramatic motions to every song on the radio, played MASH until they got the results they wanted, and walked to school together every day.

When high school came, the girls interests led them in different directions, but they still remained close. They learned to drive together (and got pulled over with firearms in the car together), did homework together, made fun of silly teachers together. They were there the year Central finally beat Permian, and drove around the stadium parking lot 57 times playing the school fight song on Brown-eyes' musical car horn. They graduated together, and spent a crazy summer and freshman year together - even getting matching "artwork" together.

But slowly, life drew the friends apart. Green-eyes went away to Tech to pursue a medical career, graduating with a Doctorate of Pharmacy. Brown-eyes stayed in San Angelo to finish college, ending up teaching at their old junior high. But no matter how far apart they are, or how different their lives have become, whenever they get together or even talk on the phone, it's like they've never been apart.

Some friends are put in your path for a specific time and purpose. Some are for life. You and I, my dear Fri, are lifers. I love you much, miss you terribly, and wish you all the best in your new venture.

Almost-2-year-old Randomness

I don't know how, but my son has somehow inherited my penchant for random thoughts. We sat down to lunch today for the second time (long story involving a sneaky little boy's attempt to get candy), and as he's eating his pizza, here's the convo:

Tater: "Car coming."
Mama: "There's a car coming?"
T: "Yeah"
M: "Where's the car?"
T: "Safe now"
M: ...um, ok - is this a teachable (or already taught by Nana) moment? "You're right - if you hold hands when the car's coming, you'll be safe, huh?"
T: "Yeah."

??? Mommy was thoroughly confused.
But it got better; he then proceeded to shift gears - he was waving his pizza around, singing some cute little song with "nummy, nummy" being repeated over and over. I figured that one out though - Grandma and D-Pop have the Elmo with the singing pizza, and it sings, "Yummy, yummy, that's the pizza pie," or something like that. The thing is, he hasn't been to Grandma's for 2 weeks. That kid's memory amazes me. The other day, he was playing in the bed of Daddy's truck and asked where Dana and Levi were. Huh??? But then I remembered that the last time he'd played in the bed of Daddy's truck was when Dana and Levi dropped him off after keeping him when Mom was out of town and Tater and I were both sick. In January. Wow.

Oh, back to his randomness today... After lunch, we laid in my bed for a nap (it's vacation - not that I need an excuse to break my own rules... I do it way too often). He brought up the car coming thing again, so I made sure he knew the cars couldn't come inside. So he decided that a monster was coming, so he had to hide. Which means he had to hide his face in Mama, which is ok with me. But then he asked where his footies went.
??? I said, "Your footies?" "Yeah. Footie jammies go?" I really wish I knew what spiral in his brain leads him from monsters to footie jammies.

Spring Break is HERE!!!

The joy abounds. I don't even have the words to express it. All I know is that I have 10 days to not work. To not worry about teenagers (except my own), to not worry about audits, deadlines, field trips, behavior issues, what's best for every kid, coworkers, and on and on... I only have to worry about taking care of 3 people. And having FUN! And... I'm trying something new this Spring Break - no lists.
I am a list person - I have at least 7 sticky notes on my desk at a time; at least one list a day to make sure I get everything done that needs to be done. Mind you, this is not because I am organized. On the contrary, if I don't have my lists, I won't remember anything in my scattered brain and scattered life. On the weekends, there's grocery lists, to-do lists... and every vacation I have a list of things to accomplish. But not this week. I have a couple of things in mind to get accomplished, but I'm not going to write them down. If they don't get done, oh well! I refuse to let a list dictate my life this week. So while I may still need a grocery list (so I don't come home with nothing but chicken nuggets and chocolate), I will otherwise put my notepad aside for one week.
My focus this week is not accomplishment, but enjoyment. I want to have a playdate - maybe two or three. I want to take my boy to the park. I want us all 3 to do something as a family. I want to read a book that has nothing to do with toddlers or teaching. I want to try out Tater's new kite. I want to enjoy these moments, because they go way too fast.

So to all my teacher friends - enjoy this week! We have most definitely earned it!!! And when we get back, only 10 more weeks. 8 if you leave out TAKS week and finals. We can do this!